(Will)ingness

Okay so I was gonna name this one "Spiritual Strength" and decided that (Will)ingness might be what, at the core of it, is what I mean. I've got a couple things I wanna talk about.

First, while in a prayer meeting with my church this morning, we were praying for the city, we were praying for the furtherance of the Kingdom in the city of Richmond, we were praying for God's WILL. The first thought in my head was about this word Willingness and how it just so happened to have Will in it. One of my favorite truths about Christ is that he was a willing participant in His sacrifice, in His Father's Will for his life. Not only that truth, but the truth that God is Willing to use we broken humans to do his Kingdom work and to be his salt and preservative on this earth. We are referred to as Salt in Matthew not because we make things taste better, or we some how just make something bad seem okay...but because of its power to preserve. (because really if we believe we can make ANYTHING better just by our shear presence or "how great" we are, then in my opinion we have turned our backs on Christ in a big way. we've somehow believed that we can do the world a service on our own). This says to me that we have a worth something, SOMEONE, way bigger than ourselves. Not a worth in our own movements or accomplishments, but a worth in the (Will)ingness of GOD the FATHER. Any way I just want to pass on this small but incredibly huge truth that God is WILLING and delights to use us to preserve his Kingdom.

I promise this ties in. I listened to a Tim Keller sermon today that broke me. The sermon was called "blessed self-forgetfulness" and in this sermon he spoke about the true meaning of humbleness. He says "The true mark of a humble person is not when you walk away from them remembering how humble they are, but how intensely interested they are in you." (paraphrased at best). This drove me to think of why I feel that i'm humble. And through Tim's words I found that the more humble I felt about myself to others...the more arrogant I become. PROUD TO BE HUMBLE...now there's a contradiction. I found that I have such a high opinion of myself, because of how low my opinion is. Well back to TK (we're on an abbreviation basis). "A true man of humbleness doesn't think less of himself, but he thinks of himself less." (again quite paraphrased). Jesus was quite the example of such a thing. This man never thought of himself as righteous because of the miracles he had done, or because of the amount of followers he had...but because of who His Father was, is, and will be. He thought himself righteous because, well, He was the definition of Righteous, He was God made man...a (Will)ing participant in the plan to save those who he became less than to save.

I leave you with this. Be willing to not think of you, but of who. Who is you're life furthering? your self, or God? Be willing to be a chosen preservative in the Kingdom. And take utter joy in (Will)ingness that God has to run after you...when you don't run after Him. He Loves You, I Promise.

Calloused Hands, Calloused Feet, Open Heart

"Can you show me this...what is it? A new way?"

If you've ever seen Wet Hot American Summer, you know where the title of this post is comin from. If not...I urge you to watch that movie asap.

Anyway I wanted to update and say that i've been less than stellar at expressing what i've learned in life since my last post, and I intend on making this more of an outlet for where I can pass along the things I'm learning in sermons, books, and life experiences. Hopefully a couple posts a week! Y'all can keep me accountable on this.

So to start it off with a bang, I'm currently reading a couple books. The Reason For God (Tim Keller), Abba's Child (Brennan Manning), and a commentary on the book of Romans (which I am actually going through verse by verse, and its epic). I've learned a lot from the first chapter in Abba's Child about being okay with myself.

Brennan Manning is one of my favorite authors and in this he talks about stories of self realization and how we, like Adam and Eve, have been ashamed of who we are so we hide. From God and from each other, we hide.

Adam and Eve covered themselves when they saw that they were naked and even hid from God when he came to see them in the Garden. We are doing the same thing when we try to become something we're not to impress others and to avoid guilt, shame, rejection, and loneliness. We are so good at hiding who we REALLY are that sometimes, if not most times, we cant even recognize that person when they show up. Im convinced that the reason men battle with lust, women battle with self-esteem, and many more struggles on both ends of the spectrum, is because we're so afraid of spending time with ourselves, THE MEN AND WOMEN GOD CREATED US TO BE.

Is that a slap in God's face? Sure is. Can we come back from it? Sure can!

The redeeming POWER of Gods love and Grace tells us "you're okay. you're beautiful. you're interesting. you're perfect. because I made you and I LOVE YOU."

Folks I'm tellin you this. we dont need anyone or anything else, than our Father who made us. I encourage you to be okay with you, and not worry about who you should be, but take pure joy in who you already are.

I'll leave you with my favorite quote from Brennan Manning. "He Loves you as you are, and NOT as you should be."

Here's a little treat- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gINtHqwjr2M

Calloused Hands, Calloused Feet, Open Heart

The POWER of Prayer

"I could probably talk a lot more about this, but..."

So now I'm talkin more, and I'll reiterate some things so this entry will flow haha. I'm excited that I have the privilege to tell you about how and why all the things that are goin on here are actually happening. From Day 1, my adventure here has been a constant answering of prayers. First off (as I may have said in an earlier post) I was in desperate prayer for SOMETHING, ANY, direction for where I may be after I graduated from RU. God answered me that by sending me here. Not only did I ask for a direction, but I asked for an adventure in HIM. I asked that he take me out of my comfort zone and throw me in the fire. Welp, it's hot in this furnace but MY FATHER CAN KEEP ME SAFE.

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I needed things to be able to stay here longer than my own money would let me...I needed a job. God gave me a job, and now seeking another, I know that he'll provide that too. I now have literally hundreds of people praying for me in that (later).

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I wanted community here, cuz with out it I really wouldn't have stayed. So before I even arrived, He worked it out so that I would live with Dan and Randall. The Father gave me the patience to find a church with a community I am loving and feel intimately connected to.

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After goin through a bit of a rut, I DESPERATELY prayed for a desire for Christ that I've never had before, to have a PASSION for him. I can't get enough of HIM and all that he is. I prayed for a "want to want" and a "need to need" HIM.

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I wanted an "In" to John Marshall HS, so that we could start to impact the lives of the people we were called to live life with. Jesus granted us that and he placed people in this city that have a heart for the younger generation in pain, and we can now start to mentor those kids! And even more great news is that now we have a partner in prayer and in battle. Norfolk Urban. They want to love us and provide us with the knowledge and wisdom that's kept them strong, and I THANK GOD FOR THIS!

We joined the Young Life Commonwealth Region for it's annual Prayer Overnight, where there is a 24 hour fast and (you guessed it) a whole lot of praying! We as a region were able to pray for the growth of not just our ministry, but Jesus himself in the lives of kids and in the area's they live. That HE would change everything. We prayed over each area in the commonwealth with YL, for what we are in need of...unfortunately now the entire region knows i'm out of a job! (thanks Tim Toy)

Scott Hamilton, who is the regional director kept saying "It's not Okay." It's not okay that we're not reaching kids in pain. It's not okay that teen mom's have no one to tell them that they are loved by their Father in Heaven. It's not okay that we think that we're doing enough to satisfy the Kingdom of Christ with our own efforts. Jesus is all that matters and is all that can fix what is wrong with this world...

I digress now back to my answered prayers. The only reason I am here in RVA. The only reason I am able to write this blog. Is because God is a faithful God.

Calloused Hands, Calloused Feet, Open Heart

Trimmin' the Fat

So recently I have had quite the life. My last post in October was one of transition and of new beginnings, this one is, to-date, where that transition has brought me.

When I posted in October, I was interviewing at REI. I got that job, but now I don't because it was a seasonal sales position. (Really the only thing I miss is the sweet discounts I could get...and some real RAD dudes there). So sadly I'm in the job hunt once again, with a little hope! Aside from that though, my life has been a hell of a ride and God has been workin in a big way.

First I'll tell you the hard stuff to admit. I really started the new year off on the wrong foot, and lets just say I blended into the hype and the crowd of the holiday. The consequences of my behavior left me sick for 2 days and heavy with guilt. I was truly humbled by the Father in that moment and He revealed to me the way in which I had allowed my selfishness to veer away from him.
Another hard thing to admit is that there was a time when I was fed up being here. There was a tension in our house that really could only be explained by all of us hitting a slump at the same time. That's been resolved since and I sincerely LOVE the dudes I live with.

Now on to whats great in my life in RVA

We've been able to go the local school, John Marshall HS for football and basketball games as well as greeting people for the middle school's open house. I've never felt more out of place than when I walk into a JAYEM (that's how we/they say the the initials of the school)basketball game in a bass pro shops shirt and vans shoe's. It's a beautiful site to see. When the intermission music comes on for time out's or half time, the entire stadium is just dancing. This was actually the first place I saw someone do the dougie haha. The culture is a complete 180 from what I am used to, and I thank God for it. We've also just this week gottin a "go-ahead" to start mentoring kids at JAYEM. It'll start in the next couple weeks and we are all ecstatic for it to start happenin!

I've also had a long journey finding a community and a church. My original vision for my room mates and I was for us to all go to the same church and have the same group of friends...the same community. Well that vision lived for about 3 weeks as we all church hopped all over RVA trying to find the church where we wanted to build a community. I think now we may have 3 different churches/communities we are engaging with. I found a great church in the city...its called city church (who'd guess huh?) and I am in love with it and the people who make it up. My weeks have since been filled with hang out nights and bible studies with some really great people, and the head pastor at City Church is also one of the guys who had the vision for our ministry in the first place, so I knew I could trust him.
What really sold me on this place was that on the 3rd or 4th sunday i'd been there, I saw someone that I recognized and said Hi to him, then I was immediately introduced to a friend of his who invited me to sit along with him during the service. After church had ended, I was invited by 3 different people to do 3 different things so they could get to know me. I was blown away by their excitement to meet me and include me. One guy I met is named John Bouguise (we call him Boug (boojsh?)) and he invited me to grab breakfast with him one day so we could talk about getting into a bible study. John asked me a lot of questions and just listened to ALL that I had to say. For those of you who know me, you know that could be a while. He said something that i'll keep with me for a while. Quoting his professor, he told me that struggles are God's way of trimmin' the fat off our hearts. Then he told me, "The way you're talkin to me doesn't sound like you have much fat." WHAT A REWARD! I have told many people that the entire year of 2010 was one huge transition/struggle for me, and also that I've learned more in four months living in RVA than I did in four years of college (about my life with Christ that is). I think both my room mates are in the same boat too!

One thing that my room mates have said about me, and it's that I can talk a lot. I'll agree with them, cuz when I get rollin' on somethin great, ESPECIALLY JESUS its hard for me to stop. I always tend to preface or stop talkin with this quote.

"I could probably talk a lot more about this, but..."

So i'll leave you with that till next time.

Calloused Hands, Calloused Feet, Open Heart

Transititon!

I spoke in July about an opportunity I've been given to do inner city ministry in Richmond, VA. I also said that would start in August. After having to jump the small (huge!) hurdle of finding a place to live, October 1st Dan Burgess, Randall Wattford, and myself have moved to the city. Our house is not yet a home, but it's on its way. We have plenty of furniture and have made our personal rooms our own, but we are yet to make it look less like a college students haha. Randall and Dan are both working during the day. Dan at Snagajob.com and Randall at Virginia Distributing doing wine displays at local stores. I am still in the search for a job...but I'm getting close. I have part-time work with Virginia Fishing Adventures doing after school and weekend programs with fishing and mountain biking, and I just had an interview with REI (I'll hear about that between the 8th and the 12th).

So there's where I am from a living/material aspect. The juicy part is where God has really shown up in my life in just the past week. As I said before, I'm not workin full time just yet (and we didn't have cable/internet till wednesday) so I've had a lot of opportunity to seek the Father in all of this. Friday (october 1) was one of the hardest and most emotionally stressful days of my life...it was the day I moved. I said goodbye to my parents and honestly cried for about 2 straight minutes in the car. Luckily I went mountain bikin the second I got in RVA to blow off some of that emotion, but to no avail. When I moved in and I was in this new place with all of my stuff strewn around the wave hit me again and I felt this feeling like "I just want to go home!" On top of all of that I had a sinus infection and was feeling pretty ill, and felt like packing up and heading back. I wanted to look to my parents for advice on what to do next and hug them and tell them I'd see them in the morning...but I couldn't.

THIS is where our God clinched my soul. In the midst of sickness, loneliness, frustration, doubt, and fear The Father calmed my frenzied spirit while listening to my itunes. "How he loves us" by Kim Walker came on and (for you avett fans) swept me away in his love and mercy, and I could finally sleep.

Among the days of no work I have also been blessed through the Word of the Lord, as well as authors he has inspired. "Irresistible Revolution" by Shane Claiborne and "Desiring God" by John Piper spoke to me and directed me towards scripture about how LARGE God's plan is and how important missions are (and reminded me, MISSIONS is what I'm doing!). I felt that me, my room mates and very few other people were here (for lack of a better term) "on fire" for Christ. Piper assured me that we can do nothing alone, and anything we see as impossible is possible IN CHRIST. Claiborne assured me that being a "radical" is well needed in this day and age of "christianity." But most importantly, THE FATHER assured me that I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS CITY!

Two ways of God's assurance. 1: While at Barnes and Noble lookin for Claiborne's book I met a girl named Hannah who was a breath of fresh air. Our conversation about the city and missions and JESUS helped me to realize that there are warriors everywhere that the Father can reach (as far as east is from west!) and 2: His word blew me away with this verse

"Do not be afraid, but go on speaking and do not be silent, for I am with you, and no one will attack you to harm you, FOR I HAVE MANY IN THIS CITY WHO ARE MY PEOPLE." Acts 18:9-10

Calloused Hands, Calloused Feet, Completely Open Heart

Been a while

Okay so I haven't necessarily kept up with my blog since the summer started. There's a lot that's been happening in my life that I really feel could/should be shared. Just in the past month I have seriously encountered God in ways I've never done before. I've learned about the huge importance of Community among believers, Grace, God's discipline, what being a Servant means and generally delighting in who God is in my life...and I intend on blogging about each of them.

I'll shortly start with a small order of business...I got a new Tattoo!
The word in Greek is Spalanknezomi (splock-neat-zomi)and it is one of the many Greek phrases for Love. Not just any love, but a deep, moving, passionate Love. This word was used by Jesus in the New Testament to describe his love for the Church and for US! The middle is "starry night" influenced...but the meaning of the entire thing is that THROUGH GOD'S LOVE WE MAY HAVE LIFE!

On to community though. I had the privilege of going to see The Avett Brothers with some really great people a few weeks ago. To be honest, I forget that we went to the show at times due to the amazing people I was with and the community I was accepted into in the process. I was given a vision of what a healthy community looks like through these people and I'm truly blessed because of it.

We were all INTENTIONAL with each other in talking about Jesus with each other.

We DELIGHTED in spending time in the word together.

We weren't scared to go deep with our conversations...we were VULNERABLE with each other

I got to experience Christ through people instead of through a ministry (Which that's what it should be like at all times ministry or not). We were the Church lived out by our actions...it's the way that God wants us to live! We were meant to be in community with our fellow believers, LIVE LIFE WITH THEM. This could not have come at a better time either.

I will be moving to Richmond, VA to do inner city ministry for 2 years; starting in August. I have gone through every emotion I have in me in the waiting period before and I was given the vision of Community, because THAT is what will be needed to succeed in that ministry. I've never pegged myself as being an "inner city guy." I love the mountains and the river and fishing, etc. but God has called me to a place of complete discomfort in going to the city. I'm ecstatic at the opportunity to grow in Christ in this way and to build a community out there in Richmond.

"If you don't have a strong and intentional community, you're just not gonna make it." Strong words by Eric Messmore, very true words. That quote speaks to the heart of community. WE CAN'T MAKE IT ALONE and at the center must be CHRIST.

Calloused Hands, Calloused Feet, Completely open Hear

Big Beard Blog

So this week I embarked on a bit of an adventure...with my face.

I am in a photography class and we have been given many different projects this semester. We have had to do an abstract project, a post card project, and others. This one that I am working on at the moment is a project where we tell a story or represent a sequence of events, and for the loooooongest time I couldn't figure out what I was going to do this project on!

So this past Sunday my friend T.J. came over and shaved his facial hair and cut the hair on his head fairly short. Next my brother Cody cut his hair...and I thought.

I thought "I could make a journey out of my face!"

And so I did.

This entire week I have had a different style of beard or mustache every day. To start things off I just shaved off my chin hair


next I had chops and handle bars...sadly no picture. But I did take the chops off the next day



next...the mustache



and today brings us to what I look like now



This has been a really fun week with a lot of awkward stares and double takes. My professor's have actually been anticipating the next day they see me to be surprised at what I was going to look like.

All in all I have figured it out the Ben Morehead isn't the beard on his face, but the heart in his chest. Although I will say I already miss my beard haha.

Calloused Hands, Calloused Feet, Completely Open Heart